Friend of Marilyn

I had the immense pleasure of attending TRUE SOUTH, a poly fabulous fatshion show held at the Mangere Arts Centre in South Auckland. TRUE SOUTH was the opening event for the 2012 South Auckland Arts Summit, and I was lucky to be invited up to attend as a VIP.

Organised by the impressive Ema Tavola, TRUE SOUTH was an amazing blend of fatshion, music, performance, and song. The focus of the event was the fatshion – five collections for fat women took the stage. The designers showing collections were Lissy Cole, Rachael Duval, Tasha Lee, Paula Chan, and Czarina Wilson. I enjoyed clothes from all of the collections, and was especially drawn to the line by Melissa Cole as her work seemed designed most with bodies like mine (26+) in mind.

Lissy Cole and model, Stephanie

The event received some good press, although many of the comments devolve quickly into the obesity epidemic hang wringing over promoting an ‘unhealthy’ lifestyle – because everyone knows, you can tell everything about a person’s lifestyle by looking at the size of their body. And, of course, anytime you choose not to vilify something you must be promoting it as the goal for all. (I know, I know, you should never read the comments!)

It was a fun event, and it promoted the beauty and style of the South Pacific women of South Auckland.

Fat bodies are rarely presented in the mainstream media. We are not on television shows, in movies, or on runways. When we are in pop culture, we are usually comic relief or portrayed as caricatures. The most prolific representation of fat bodies in the mainstream eye are accompanying news stories about TEH obesity epidemic – and these are usually bodies without heads (aka, the headless fatty). This only serves to reinforce to people of all sizes the negative stereotypes associated with fatness and fat people.

Rachael Duval Collections

This fatshion show provided an opportunity for fat people – and especially fat women and girls – to be able to look and think, ‘Wow, her body looks like my body’, ‘I can see myself in her’. Even more importantly, it provided an opportunity for fat women of colour to recognize themselves in a positive representation of delightful fashion. Truly groundbreaking.

At the close of the show, Bella Kalolo and Rosita Vai performed a great version of ‘I’m Every Woman’ and encouraged the crowd to clap along with the song. I found myself bouncing up and down in my seat, wanting desperately to jump on the catwalk and dance along with the music.

Stunning duet from  Bella Kalolo and Rosita Vai

As a fat woman it is rare to recognize myself in someone put forth by society as celebrity, as special, as desirable. At TRUE SOUTH, I watched in delight as fat women sang, fat women danced, and fat women strutted down the catwalk. It was one of the best experiences I have had since I moved to New Zealand. I am so grateful to Ema and all from the South Auckland Pacific Arts Summit 2012, for putting this together and allowing me to come along!

I Love Lissy!!!

With my recent fifteen minutes of fame, I’ve attracted attention from people who find what I do distasteful, disgusting, and/or dangerous. They post comments on YouTube, send me harassing emails, troll my online writing, and send me Facebook messages of hate and mockery.

They express their disbelief at my work and concern over my dangerous message, that fat people deserve the same rights and dignity as non-fat people. They share their disgust with my body and call me hurtful names I have not heard since the playground. Many of these people are happy to contradict the work that I do, and even the life I portray. (And I’m not alone in this.) These strangers insist they know more about my body, and my behaviours, than I do.

• ‘You can’t be that fat without eating at least 4500 calories a day.’
• ‘I appreciate that you think you’re happy, but there is no way you can be happy being that fat.’
• ‘You’re kidding yourself if you think it’s okay to be so grossly fat.’

These individuals are trying to get me to understand that they are a better judge of my health, my identity, and my life, than I am. They believe that they know things about me, and are happy to dismiss anything I have to say about my life that does not fit in with what they believe they know.

When it comes to fatness and fat bodies, who gets to be a knower?

Authority figures, be they physicians, politicians, or others, are happy to speak about issues of weight, health, and behaviour. And many of them are happy to do so without having any empirical evidence behind them.

• Talking point #1: Being fat is unhealthy. Everyone nods.
• Talking point #2: If fat people ate less and exercised, they will no longer be fat. Cue nodding.
• Talking point #3: This is the first generation of children who will not live as long as their parents. Vigorous nodding ensues.

These phrases are thrown around by authorities, media outlets, individuals, and even cartoon characters. Rarely do they offer any reference for their claims, or empirical evidence to support their statements.  They are knowers. And the truths they speak are known by most and therefore true. Full stop.

But if you choose to speak out against, or challenge, those talking points, you’d better have a long list of empirical evidence to back up your claims. You better have peer-reviewed, positivistic, articles from medical journals. Lots of them. And even then, you will most likely be accused of cherry picking evidence, or falling victim to confirmation bias.

If you chose to engage in this kind of research yourself, especially as a fat person, you are simply self-serving and looking for an excuse for your own moral failings. How convenient for you that your research finds that you are not the worst thing in the world, responsible for global warming, terrorism, and rising healthcare costs. Sounds like someone is trying to justify their own fatness.

When it comes to fatness and fat bodies, who gets to produce knowledge?

Fat people across the world are told that they are not allowed to know their own lives. They are contradicted by family, friends, and strangers. They are challenged by every caricature of a fat person in movies and television. They are repudiated by the ‘real’ fat people on television and in magazines who are unhappy and trying to change their lives by changing their bodies. They are questioned by every negative news story about fatness and fat people. They are presented a single way of being : This is what fat is. This is what a fat person is like. This is what a fat life is like. And anyone who suggests otherwise is lying.

When a fat individual does stand up to their family, or friends, or classroom, or larger community and says – ‘That is not me. That is not my life. My life and experiences are different.’ – they are often ignored. Or dismissed. Or infantilized. Or patronised. Or called liars.

When it comes to fatness and fat bodies, who gets to know?

The trolls who contradict me seem to honestly believe that they know me and my life and my behaviours better than I do. And they are angry that I am suggesting a different truth than the one they know. They want to take away any claim I have to agency, or to an authentic life or experience. And they get really, really, really mad when I refuse to let them.

But here’s the bottom line for me:

Fat people are the ones who know best about their lives, their behaviours, and their experiences. Fat people are knowers, and fat people know. Fat people produce knowledge. And if what they have to share, say, or show, contradicts the norm, or common sense, or the accepted truth – that’s too fucking bad. But that doesn’t make it any less true.

On February 16th, 2012, 20/20 New Zealand aired a segment about fat activism in New Zealand.  I watched the episode with friends, at a viewing party hosted by the amazing Craig & Mary Prichard. We had a great time leading up to the episode, and everyone was positive after it aired.

My first reaction after watching? I teared up – and was relieved that it didn’t suck. You see, the night before it aired, I saw a promo for the show for the first time. And I panicked. All of my nervousness, and all of my fear, rose within me at the same time and spilled over the surface. I always had reservations about the show, but I took a leap of faith that the 20/20 team was genuine in their interest to share what I do with others. And I am glad that I did – in the episode they embraced the beauty of fat activism, and encouraged others to do the same.

The biggest surprise in the show for me was the word, ‘Poppycock’. I am 100% sure that I have never said that word except during that interview. It was quite a shock to hear it come out of my mouth; I had no memory of using it. I think it is an appropriate way to characterize the obesity epidemic hype, but also a word that you will probably never hear me say again.

My biggest disappointment in the show was the way they edited my response to the question, ‘Are you healthy?’ My full answer was, ‘It depends on how you define, measure, healthy. If you measure health by metabolic health, cholesterol, blood pressure, glucose, etc, then yes, I’m healthy. If you define health by healthy activities, I eat a nutritious diet, I exercise regularly, I get enough hours of sleep at night, I go to the doctor every year, so, yes, I’m healthy. If we measure health the way NZ Immigration measures it, I’m not, simply because my BMI is over 30.”

Spencer’s biggest disappointment was not making the show. All of his scenes ended up on the cutting room floor. I appreciate that most of what we filmed over three days did not make the show, so here’s a taste of what you didn’t get to see:

• An eight year old boy who stepped on the Yay! Scale shared that he is weighed every week at school before he is allowed to play rugby.
• I made super yummy Santa Hat cupcakes.
• They recorded me singing with the Palmerston North Rugby World Cup choir – I am sad that this did not make the episode, because I know that my fellow choir members were really excited about being on TV.
• I had at least eight outfit changes that did not make the show. I kept changing outfits, every time we did something different. I wanted the show to look like filming took place over days, weeks, or months – not just a few hours.
• For one sequence, I wore a Mockingjay necklace.
• I talked about the silliness of assuming that fat people are fat because they eat crap and never exercise – and that slim people are slim because they never eat crap and always exercise.

Something else that didn’t make the show was credit for all the amazing fat activists who created, wrote, or inspired items shown.

•  The blog I read on my show was ‘It starts with a guess, and ends in a revolution’ from Danceswithfat, one of my favourite blogs, written by Ragen Chastain.
• The woman who joined me on my show was Kath Read, of the Fat Heffalump.
• The amazing Adipositivity calendar is produced by Substantia Jones, of the Adipositivity Project, and may be purchased at Cafe Press online.
• My favourite accessory is a ‘Fat’ necklace from Fancy Lady Industries, I have it in pink, frost, black, and red. You can get one online at the Fancy Lady Industries website.
• A lot of people have asked where they can get a Yay! Scale. Marilyn Wann’s  Yay! Scale is a must have for any bathroom -You can get your very own at Voluptuart
• The Fat Rights Tool Kit is produced by Love Your Body Detroit. I do not think they are selling any at the moment, but if you send them an email, they may let you know when they make more!
• There are several places you can buy seatbelt extenders. I’d recommend checking out the More of Me Love Shop. What they call ‘Airline Seat Belt Extender’ universal will fit the Air New Zealand planes (except the Beechcraft 1900D, which takes the ‘Southwest Airplane Extender’).

Next Thursday (16 February, 2012) TV2 in New Zealand will be airing an episode of 20/20 that explores the world of fat activism in New Zealand. And yours truly will be a big, fat, part of the story.

If memory serves I approached Louisa, the producer, about doing the show. I wanted a program like 20/20 or Sunday to introduce New Zealand to the growing social movement that is fat liberation. I provided a list of names of both Fat Studies scholars and fat activists around the country, and met with the producer to chat about what kind of story it could be. My intention was to play the role of the academic: commenting on the rise of fat activism and sitting comfortably to the side of the story as an “expert”. The producer, however, saw me as a bigger part of the story. I struggled with the decision, because being in the spotlight is not a place I want to be. I like to organise things – produce things – coordinate things – I am really, really, good, at pulling things together and running things from behind the scenes. I remember a time when I was younger when I wanted that spotlight focused on me. Not sure when that changed, but the idea of being a major part of a story on 20/20 was not my idea of good time. As we emailed back and forth it became clear that if I wasn’t willing to play a key role, there probably wouldn’t be a story at all.

This is often the price for being involved in a small movement like fat liberation. There are only a handful of people in New Zealand who would identify as fat activists. And an even smaller number who are willing to put themselves out there in the public with such an identity. But if we want our message to reach more people – that fat people deserve the same rights and dignity as non-fat people – we need publicity. And that means making ourselves the public face of a political movement that is also very personal.  Putting yourself out there as a visible fat activist has both benefits (increasing my reputation as a Fat Studies researcher is good for my career, and I love the emails I receive from others who find their own courage and strength from seeing others standing proud) and costs (being a proud fat activist paints a target for both hate and concern trolls, indeed. And on such a large surface at that.)

I agreed, and the 20/20 shot a variety of footage across three days. First up was the classic 20/20 interview with me against a backdrop. I expected the first question to be something along the lines of, ‘What is fat activism?’ – so I was quite surprised when the first question was about the necklace I was wearing (one of my many ‘Fat’ necklaces from Fancy Lady Industries). I was so surprised, in fact, that instead of identifying it as something from Fancy Lady Industries, I panicked as I was unsure if Definatalie is pronounced, ‘Definitely’ or ‘Defi Natalie’ and I am pretty sure I went with the second one.  (Apologies, Natalie!) I fumbled my responses and forgot all of the succinct one-liners I regularly use when I do interviews. The reporter, Hannah Ockelford, asked me questions insightful questions about fat activism and the work that I do. She also about what I eat and whether I exercise. *sigh* When we spoke about it afterwards, she explained that many people watching will be asking those questions and it is better for her to as well. I responded by asking whether she asked those same questions of everyone she interviews about weight, obesity, or health.

We shot at my office: me talking about tools for fat activism and living life as fat person. We shot walking through the Square:  me talking about fat phobia. We shot at the Access Manawatu studio: me recording my weekly radio show, Friend of Marilyn (HUGE shout out to Kath Read for being a last minute guest for the taping!).  We shot me preparing food for a dinner with friends, and then part of the dinner itself (thanks friends!) They also convinced me to do an impromptu fatshion show, which I really hope meets the cutting room floor.

One of the larger parts of the filming involved me giving my presentation on the obesity myths, ‘Big fat facts: What you don’t know about what isn’t killing you’, to a group of women they recruited. Most of these women are actively involved in weight loss, and I spoke with the producer about my concerns. Do I, as a professional, have an ethics of care consideration to make? If part of my presentation is educating on the futility of weight loss, and these women are committed to losing weight, what ethical responsibilities arise? (I’ll write more about this later) In the end, we went ahead with the presentation, and, unsurprisingly, the women in the group who had recently lost weight, and were working to lose more, were happy to dismiss my science as wrong. Committed to the fantasy of being thin, the women in attendance were willing to consider some of the other myths, but not interested in acknowledging the failure rate of diets (even when you call them lifestyle changes).

The last thing we shot was a Yay! Scale demonstration on Queen Street in Auckland. This was my first time doing this kind of activism, and it was intimidating. But it was a great experience, and I am sure the footage we shot was some of the best of the bunch. From the 8yr old boy who shared that he had to be weighed weekly at school before he was allowed to play rugby, to the women who stepped on the scale and watched in delight as they were declared by the scale to be  ‘Sexy’, ‘Cute’, ‘Hot’ and ‘Beautiful’, it was all very meaningful to me.

Will the story be meaningful to those who choose to watch? Now that the filming is over, I can obsess over my fear and excitement regarding the show and the way it will be received by the New Zealand public. What I would like to do is watch it before anyone else. I like to process my feelings before I have to deal with how other people feel. But seeing the episode early is not an option.

My back-up scenario is to watch it in private, and then hide out for a few days. But my friends want to watch it with me. So now I’m thinking I may just jump off the cliff without a parachute: I’ll hold a viewing party. Invite everyone I know over and just embrace the embarrassment I know I am going to feel at seeing myself and hearing myself on TV. And the cringing I will engage in as I misspeak (defi-Natalie?!) or when I am less than eloquent.  I make mistakes. I am not perfect. And I am working on being okay with that.

Perhaps we’ll play a drinking game? Break out the shot glasses everyone: Every time someone says the word ‘Fat’, take a shot! We’ll all be drunk before the first commercial break!

And then, of course, will be the comments posted and emails sent. Some will be positive, but most will be negative. I say this because we live in a fat phobic world. I say this because people often confuse their hate for concern. I say this because I’ve been doing media about fat liberation for a few years, and I always get more bad feedback than good. This time, I’m more prepared. I’ve dealt with much of it before, and I have a larger connection with the Fat-o-sphere, so I do not have to process this alone. I have also printed out ‘Fat Hate Bingo’ cards and plan to see how long it takes me to get a Bingo. Will I reach a Bingo in the first day? The first five emails? Maybe I’ll share the game on Tumblr, and you can join in the fun. Anyone want to play with me? Send me an email, and I’ll send you a card! Friendofmarilyn@aol.com

Doing this story with 20/20 has been a learning experience for me, both as a fat activist and as an individual who consumes a great deal of media. The structured nature of the shoot, including the staged shots and different angles, added depth to my understanding of how a show, like 20/20, gets put together. I’m worried about the end product; I’ll not try to deny that. The 20/20 team have been trying to put my worries to ease for months, assuring me that they want to simply share the message of fat activism with the viewing public – promising that they are not trying to make me look foolish. But what else would they say as we are working together? ‘Yes, we want to make you look like an ass. A big fat ass.’ Of course not. So I put my faith into them, and I hope that I have represented myself, and the fat liberation movement, well. Hopefully I can post the clip on YouTube and you can watch it for yourself.

Feel free to let me know what you think.

“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas”. Well, actually, it’s not. Having spent the first 28 years of my life in the Northern hemisphere, I am not sure if I will ever adapt to beach ware, jandals, and BBQ during the holidays. But even if the warm weather feels wrong to me, I cannot deny that trees are being decorated, lights are being hung, and Christmas carols are being played in the stores.

 

One of the many things I love about the holidays is the gift giving guides put together by corporations trying to sell you their goods. My favourite guide comes from Entertainment Weekly, as they break down gift guides into types of people.

 

In that spirit, here is my gift guide for the rad fatty or fat ally in your life!

 

For the Bookworm

 

Fat and proud: The politics of size by Charlotte Cooper

Fat shame by Amy Erdman Farrell

 

 

 For the Multi-Tasker 

Marilyn Wann’s 2012 Fat?So! Dayplanner is a great way to stay organised in a fatlicious way!

Adipositivity Project 2012 calendar

Cheeky fat pinup calendar by Jen Oaks

 

 For the Uninformed

Fat?So! by Marilyn Wann

The ‘No diet talk’ brooch from Fancy Lady Industries

 

 For the Fatshionista

The Fat necklace by Fancy Lady Industries

Fatshopaholic for Nakimuli Dookie Bracelets

 

 For the Student/Scholar

Fat Studies in the UK edited by Corinna Tomrley & Ann Kaloski Naylor

The Fat Studies reader edited by Esther Rothblum & Sandra Solovay

 

 For the Number Cruncher 

The obesity myth by Paul Campos

The end of the obesity epidemic by Michael Gard

 

 

For the Kid In All of Us

Fat Ladies in Spaaaaace is a fat positive colouring book by Nicole Lorenz

 

 

For the Activist 

Fat Girl Zine

Fat Rights Tool Kit by Love Your Body Detroit

Love Your Body Pack

 

 

For the Nester

Marilyn Wann’s ‘Yay!’ scale (A must for any bathroom!)

Peruvian Dancer

 

 For the Health Nut

Health at every size by Linda Bacon

The Fat Chick Works Out! DVD by Jeanette DePatie (aka The Fat Chick)

 

 For Yourself

A cool digital illustration self portrait from Fancy Lady Industries

F*ck flattering crop tee from Gisela Ramirez

Big big love by Hanne Blank

 

 

 

I hope this helps as you buy gifts for those you love, if you so choose.

 

 

 

Happy Holidays & Peace to All.

 

 

 

See you in the New Year! It’s gonna be FATLICIOUS!

I have spent the last three weeks travelling through parts of Southeast Asia. My trip took me through Singapore, Thailand, and Malaysia. I have explored new cities, walked new zoos, and spent time eating and laughing with friends.  As I was preparing to leave for my vacation, I felt anxious about how it would be to travel in SE Asia as a fat person. I had read other’s accounts about feeling enormous and about being on the end of hard stares. I have non-fat friends in Asia who feel like they are super sized. So what would be my experience?

Others have discussed what it is like to fly while fat, and some have put together resources for fat people who are interested in travelling. I thought I would share my experiences of travelling through parts of SE as a fat person. I was especially inspired by a recent post from the Fat Heffalump about flaunting our fat. So this is my story of fatting it up across SE Asia.

Kicking off my travel was the long haul flight to Singapore. I used to enjoy flying. I loved the dedicated amount of time where I was not inundated by information, or answering emails, or having to interact with anyone. I would use the time to read, or listen to podcasts, or just sit and enjoy the silence. I invested in my own seatbelt extender years ago, so I even avoided having to ask an (usually) embarrassed flight attendant for one.

And then airlines starting kicking fat people off planes. And my excitement about flying flew out the window. Who wants to be kicked off a plane? Or be forced to purchase a second seat that may not even be next to the seat you already have? I began to dread flying, especially unfortunate as I live across the world from my home and have no other way to travel to see family and friends.

I have since ‘solved’ this problem by purchasing seats in premium economy or business class. I recognize that I am quite privileged to be able to adopt this option. I spend half the year paying off my single ticket home, but for me it is worth not worrying about what might happen if I am singled out as too fat to fly. I dream of a day when the airlines offer larger seats in economy (for an increased price, I’d imagined). Similar to what some offer for taller individuals with more leg-room.

While in Singapore, I felt a heightened sense of awareness. Are people staring at me? Am I being laughed at? But this all seemed for naught. People I encountered seemed to accept me and my body as nothing unusual. Perhaps identifying me quickly as an American gave them a frame of reference. My fat body was afforded indifference.  And that can be glorious.

During my time in Thailand, I spent an afternoon at a spa. I had my very first body scrub, followed by a facial treatment. After the scrub, I was instructed to take a quick shower to wash off the exfoliating scrub before my facial. As I prepared to step into the shower, the women who brought me a fresh towel kept giggling, and then reached forward to slap my belly. I found myself giggling as well, almost like I was a real life tickle me Elmo doll. She said some words in Thai I did not understand, as she smiled and slapped my belly again. I embraced the moment and embraced my belly, smiling to let her know I was not offended by her actions and that I was comfortable and accepting of my body.

The next evening, I was walking through Patong Beach. A street vendor yelled out, asking why I was not at the (Muay Thai) boxing match. He used his arms and hands to indicate that because of my size, I should be a boxer. I smiled and put my ‘dukes’ up, imitating what I believed a boxing performance would look like. He smiled and I walked away laughing with my friends.

The last stop on my SE Asia trip was Kuala Lumpur. During my time in Malaysia, I shopped, ate good food, and saw many of the cities sites while hopping off and on the KL Explorer Bus. One night we had our driver take us out to the Batu Caves, then continue on to Kuala Selangor so we could take a boat trip and look at the fireflies. This was the part of the journey that gave me pause. What kind of boat? Would it be able to accommodate my size? Would I be able to get in and out without assistance? I even thought about begging off from the part of the trip – better to save myself any embarrassment, right? Wrong. I went and it was awesome. Sure, my life vest did not really fit and I had to use the handrail to step in and out of the boat, but my main fears went unrealised. I fit. Without any issues or encroaching on anyone else. I fit. I rode on the boat, and saw some cool fire flies. And I had a great time.

As we were riding back in the boat towards the dock, it occurred to me that in the past I had often made decisions out of the fear of what might go wrong or what might happen when my fat body tried to engage. I skipped river trips, let love slip through my fingers, and told myself it would all be different once I was someone else. I had missed out on a lot. Due to my fear and anxiety. Not due to my fat body.

Live your fat life. Right now. It is the only one you get. Live your fat life. Take vacations. Buy yourself the clothes that you want to wear. Live your fat life. Do all the things you want to do. Go all the places you want to go. Live your fat life. Eat good food. Splash in the waves. Capture your favourite moments on film. Live your fat life. Live it proud, and loud, and without apology. Live fat. Love fat. Be fat. Live your fat life.

Once my radio show, Friend of Marilyn™, went on air, I began doing media interviews for news outlets across New Zealand. Doing media is new for me, and I often fumble when answering questions. So I found it helpful to develop talking points: standard answers for common questions. Someone suggested that I share them on my blog, so here they are!

Q: What is the purpose of the show?

The goal of the show is to change the national conversation about fatness.

Q: Is this show glorifying obesity?

Friend of Marilyn™ is about promoting the idea that fat people deserve the same rights and dignity as non-fat people.

Q: Fat people do not have the same rights and dignity?

No, they do not. Weight and height are not protected classes in most countries, the way gender, race/ethnicity, age, are. It is legal to discriminate against an individual because they are fat. And fat people are often denied basic human dignity. Take for example, the representations of fat bodies we see every day. Most of the stories about the obesity pandemic are accompanied by a picture of what Charlotte Cooper calls a headless fatty; a fat person from the neck down, or just their fat stomach. This is an example of objectification, and that leads to fat people being seen as less than human. And if fat people are less than human, then it is okay to discriminate and oppress them.

Q: Why do we care about the size of other people’s bodies?

Because we believe we can judge personal and moral characteristics based on their bodies.  We look at a fat body and believe it displays certain characteristics: lazy, stupid, lacking willpower, asexual, etc. But as Marilyn Wann says, the only thing you can learn by looking at my fat body is your own level of fat prejudice.

Q: Do you believe fat people want to lose weight?

Yes, most probably do.

It is the sane choice when you live in a world that finds you disgusting. Being fat is considered unhealthy, lazy, undesirable, and a moral failure. If we look back at other groups who have been oppressed and discriminated against, we can find members of such groups engaging in activities to negotiate the stigma. Ethnic minorities may use creams to lighten their skin or straighten their hair. Gays and lesbians may marry and raise families in heterosexual relationships. I believe that many fat people would rather not be fat, and many try to achieve this through weight loss.

Q: Surely if people just ate less and exercised more they could stop being fat?

What research demonstrates, and has for over 50 years, is that only 5% of those who attempt to lose weight are able to maintain a significant weight loss for more than 5 years. 95% of people gain back the weight they lose, and often more, within five years. This is true for people who diet, and those who make lifestyle changes as well.

Q: Why the poor success rate for weight loss? Are people just not motivated? Lack of will power?

We honestly do not know why weight loss has such a high failure rate. I find it silly to pathologize 95% of the population, and suggest they simply lack the will power needed. The human body is a complex organism, and while we would like to believe that it is as easy as ‘calories in, calories out’, the empirical evidence shows that it is not that simple.

Q: So what do you recommend instead?

I believe that every person, regardless of their body size, deserves basic human dignity and rights. And I like the paradigm of Health at Every Size® which promotes that every body, regardless of size, can engage in healthy behaviours. I am not, however, a proponent of healthism: the idea that people have a moral obligation to be healthy. I do believe that people, especially direct care workers, should be educated on the obesity myths, as I hope this will decrease fat phobia and hatred.

Q: What are the obesity myths?

These are assumptions about the relationship between health and weight that many believe to be true. So, for example, most people believe that permanent weight loss is possible, and they wonder why fat people do not “try harder” to become non-fat. Another obesity myth is that obesity rates are increasing, when for most industrialised countries, obesity rates levelled off a decade ago. And yet another is that being fat is unhealthy.

Q: So you are arguing that being fat can be healthy?

Yes. There are fat people who are healthy, and fat people who are not healthy. Just as there are non-fat people who are healthy, and non-fat people who are not healthy. Body size is not a good proxy for health, and it is dangerous for all people, both fat and not, to believe that it is.

Q: Are you healthy?

It would depend on how you define, or determine health.

If you are defining health by medical tests and levels, then yes, I am healthy.

If you are defining health by the behaviours I engage in: I don’t smoke, don’t drink, I eat nutritious meals, get more than 6hrs of sleep a night, exercise regularly, and look both ways before crossing the street. So yes, I am healthy.

But if you are defining health the way that the NZ Immigration does, then no, I am not healthy because I have a BMI over 35.

People look at my fat body, and they believe it shows them that I am not healthy. They believe it tells them that I eat crap and never exercise (as though these are the only health behaviours that matter).  This is true for many doctors as well, as research finds that physicians do not counsel their non-fat patients about diets and exercise. They make the assumption that they are eating healthy and exercising, simply because they are not fat. And the research does not support this assumption.

If I walk into McDonalds with a non-fat friend, and we both order a Big Mac, people in the store might think, ‘why is that fat women eating that?’ or ‘she doesn’t need to eat that!’, and it will reinforce negative stereotypes they have about fat people. But it is unlikely that any of them will think the same things about my non-fat friend, even though we are both consuming the same item of food that is being deemed unhealthy.

Focusing on weight, instead of health, is dangerous.

Q: Why?

It is dangerous for many reasons. First, conflation of health and weight leads to confusion for fat and non-fat people alike. So you may have a fat person who doesn’t believe that what they eat matters, and why bother exercising, because they are fat=unhealthy anyway. And you may have a non-fat person who doesn’t believe what they eat matters, and why bother exercising, because they are not fat=healthy. Also, many people engage in unhealthy behaviours to lose or maintain weight.

Consider the social approval of a fat woman who severely limits her calories and obsesses about her weight. That same behaviour, in a non-fat woman, would possibly be diagnosed as an eating disorder. Why the discrepancy?

Another reason it is dangerous is because it contributes to fat phobia and oppression.

Q: Are fat phobia and oppression harmful?

Absolutely; fat phobia, or fat stigma, or fat hatred, is harmful. It stigmatises fat people, which is harmful for both physical and mental health. It also affects non-fat people – making many of them terrified of becoming fat. Being shamed, or bullied, is never good for anyone.

Of course, a lot of fat phobia and hatred is hidden behind a cloak of concern.

Q: A cloak of concern?

Most concern about the health of fat people is really just fat prejudice. People do not care about my health; it is a way for them to express their own disgust and fear of my fat. I know they don’t care about my health because they are not concerned with whether I wear a helmet when I ride my bike, or speed when I drive my car. They don’t care if I starve myself to lose weight or get regular exams at the doctor. This lack of caring about anything besides my weight is evidence that it is not my health they are concerned with. It is my fat. They find it distasteful, or disgusting, or it makes them uncomfortable. But that’s their problem. Not mine.

One of the questions I receive when doing media for my new radio show is whether fat people want to lose weight. I am unsure of the motivation behind such a question, but I always have an answer prepared and I am no longer surprised when it is asked. Do fat people want to lose weight? Do fat people want to no longer be fat? The easy answer is yes, most probably do.

It is the sane choice when you live in a world that finds you disgusting. Being fat is considered unhealthy, lazy, undesirable, and a moral failure. If we look back at other groups who have been oppressed and discriminated against, we can find members of such groups engaging in activities to negotiate the stigma. Ethnic minorities may use creams to lighten their skin or straighten their hair. Gays and lesbians may marry and raise families in heterosexual relationships. I believe that many fat people would rather not be fat, and many try to achieve this through weight loss.  If a fat person chooses to engage in weight loss, it is their choice to make. It is not up to me, or anyone else, to tell them that it is not okay to diet.

I have no interest in telling people what choices they should make for their bodies; just as I have no interest in others telling me what choices I should make for my own. But I do think it is important that people recognize that making the choice to support weight loss organisations reinforces the fat hating culture we live in. Businesses like Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig make their money off the back of fat people. They exist because of the cultural belief that fat is undesirable. They make their money because people want to lose weight, because being fat is bad. If fat phobia did not exist, weight loss would be a much smaller business. Definitely not the billion dollar business it is today.

I am not saying that all individuals want to lose weight because they are fat hating, but I do believe that is at the heart for many of those who are dieting. If you are one of the millions wanting to lose weight, ask yourself why?

• Do you want to lose weight because of your health? Why not consider what health issues you have, and the activities you can engage in to remedy these, instead of focusing on weight loss?
• Do you want to lose weight because you are ashamed of your body? Why not work on your self esteem and learn to love yourself and your body, instead of focusing on weight loss?
• Do you want to lose weight because you have pain in your lower back? Why not do exercises that strengthen your back, instead of focusing on weight loss?
• Do you want to lose weight because you cannot find fashion in your size? Why not join a group like Super Sizes on Facebook, or demand that fashion producers make cool clothes for your size, instead of focusing on weight loss?
• Do you want to lose weight because your partner is not sexually attracted to you? Why not work with your partner to broaden your sexual turn-ons, or find a new partner, instead of focusing on weight loss?
• Do you want to lose weight because you are unhappy with your life? Why not work out what you are unhappy about and make steps to change those things, instead of focusing on weight loss?

In my experience, many of the reasons above are often just excuses that cover up fat phobia. If you are interested in losing weight, be honest with yourself about the reasons. If when you scratch below the surface you find disgust and fear of fat, that’s okay. It’s probably normal. It does not make you a bad person. But if you do find those feelings and beliefs, think about where they come from. And what they mean for the fat people in your life. And what they mean for you.

Whether or not a person can be fat accepting and trying to lose weight is a point of contention within the Fatosphere. Others have written about this, and I am trying to work this out for myself.

I appreciate the efforts of Fatadelic to tease out the differences and relationships between fat acceptance, size acceptance, self acceptance, body acceptance, and dieting. I agree with Fatadelic that dieting and body acceptance are mutually exclusive: if you are trying to change something about your body, you are not embracing body acceptance. But of course, the choices an individual makes for their own body (dieting) are not always congruent with the ideologies they embrace (size/fat acceptance). And more importantly, the FA movement must allow for differences and disagreements as it continues to grow.

When Marilyn Wann was on my inaugural show, she made the distinction between fat acceptance and fat liberation. She said she was not interested in fat acceptance, which to her was about convincing people to tolerate fatness; to accept it. Instead, Marilyn is working for fat liberation. Embracing and celebrating fat; she claims it is her birthright. At the time I thought that it was a cool idea, but I was still okay with the phrase ‘fat acceptance’. It definitely sounded more user friendly than fat liberation, and getting others interested in promoting dignity and rights for fat people is one of the goals of my show. Baby steps, right?

But I kept thinking about the differences, and the relationship between fat acceptance and weight loss. And so I asked the all knowing Tumblr, ‘Can a person be fat accepting and trying to lose weight?’ I had hoped for wisdom to be shared by the many FA individuals in the Tumblr world, and was surprised instead to receive responses from non-FA friends on my Facebook (my Tumblr posts automatically appear there as well). From reading their responses, I realised, ‘oh wow, fat acceptance really is about tolerating fatness. It is seen as accepting a circumstance you find yourself in.’

And that was an eye opener. Let me tell you, I have NO interest in my fatness being something to tolerate or a circumstance to be accepted. Marilyn was right (as usual): my fatness is my birthright. It is not something I accept, or tolerate, or try to make the best of. It is something I embrace, I celebrate, I recognize as an important part of what makes me who I am. But that is where I am in my journey. And my journey is not the same as others. And that is okay.

In my introduction post I identified as a fat activist and a Fat Studies scholar. These two roles often overlap, as the work I do as a Fat Studies scholar can easily be considered activism as well. And the work I do as a fat activist usually draws on the knowledge and resources available to me as an academic within the field of Fat Studies. I have decided to begin a new venture in my life, one that will allow me to expand my work as both a scholar and an activist.

The station manager at the local radio station, Access Manawatu, approached me several weeks ago about doing my own show. He suggested it would be a good way to share my message with more people. I suggested to him it sounded like a sure fire way for the station to garner hostile attention (‘You are glorifying obesity, which is killing people!’ ‘You are disgusting; just get off the couch!’ ‘You are costing our health system millions!’) After his reassurance that he was not worried about negative backlash, I decided to give it some thought.

A radio show would allow me to reach a different audience. And if I could podcast the show onto iTunes, it would allow me to reach listeners all over the world. Is that something I wanted? Is that something I felt comfortable committing to?

In thinking about what it could mean, I considered the many podcasts I regularly listen to and the impact they have had on my own life and research. Homage must first be paid to Fatcast. Fatcast is delivered by Marianne Kirby of The Rotund and Lesley Kinzel of Two Whole Cakes, and is the first fat acceptance podcast I subscribed to. Fatcast explores fat acceptance and body politics. I love listening to Fatcast, and it has helped me shape my own beliefs and arguments as a fat activist and scholar. Marianne and Lesley have fun with the show, and their enthusiasm and passion is contagious!

Another fat acceptance podcast is Ham Radio. Ham Radio is hosted by the writers of Axis of Fat, a fat acceptance blog out of Australia. Ham Radio explores fat acceptance and related issues as they relate to Australia. Ham Radio is relatively new, but I look forward to each new episode. One of the distinguishing characteristics about Ham Radio is that one of the hosts is Nicholas Perkins, one of the few cis-men contributing regularly to the Fatosphere.

Health at Every Size is a radio show out of Nashville that is then available as a podcast. On the air since May of 2005, the hosts Peggy Elam and Pat Ballard discuss the tenets of HAES and recent articles related to the relationship between weight and health.

Golda Poretsky offers us the Body Love Wellness podcast. The BLW podcast is usually short snippets of information designed to provide practice advice related to feeling good about your body and healing your relationship with food.

And even though it is currently on hiatus, I would be remiss if I did not mention, FemmeCast , hosted by Bevin Branlandingham. As defined on its website, FemmeCast is “The Queer Fat Femme Podcast Guide to Life is an audio newsmagazine for Queer Fat Femmes, Fatshionistas of all sexualities and Queers of all genders”. How awesome is that, right? I LOVED this podcast, and hope Bevan decides to bring it back one day for the good of us all!

After considering what I have gained from listening to others, I decided to accept the offer. I received some training, recorded some promos, and will begin airing my new show, ‘Friend of Marilyn’ from August 17th. FOM will air every Wed at 6pm on Access Manawatu 999AM, and then podcast on iTunes. (Check out the promos below)

FOM will explore issues related to fatness, fat identity, and fat activism. I hope to include discussions with fat activists from around the world, and intend to spotlight a favourite blog piece each week. I am both intimated and excited about entering the world of fat acceptance podcasts, but either way I invite you to listen along and let me know what you think: friendofmarilyn@aol.com.

From a young age, I have loved books. Books to read, books to study, books to discuss, books to analyse; BOOKS!

Books in New Zealand are expensive. Something I could have bought for 9.99 in the States costs at least 29.99 here. As a result, I have stopped purchasing books, and started utilising the library. I have access to both the city library (where I get my leisure reading, both fiction and non), and the University library (where I get my academic and scholarly reading). Finding texts I need for my research, however, is often difficult.

Walk into a library (or book store) and you can find hundreds of books on dieting, weight loss, and the destructive nature of obesity (responsible for global warming, rising health costs, poor academic achievement of Western youth, the death of kittens, and the break up of the Beatles). What is harder to find are texts that are critical of the dominant discourse about fatness.

I’ve been thinking about what books are available at libraries, and to whom certain books are marketed within the library. What books get placed in prominent places? What books are highlighted by staff? Which ones make the end caps and the front table? I do not have the information to address these questions, nor was I able to find an extensive list of what fat friendly books my libraries carry. There is definitely not a ‘Fat Studies’ section, sitting side by side with ‘Queer Studies’, ‘Women’s Studies’ and ‘Ethnic Studies’.

***Luckily, I know a fatlicious librarian, and she has done a bit of investigating. Check out what Kath at Fat Heffalump found!

So I decided to challenge myself for the month of June.  I called it, ‘Build a Better Library’, and the challenge was to submit a request for a new Fat Studies text to my University library every day. I tracked my progress on Tumblr, and while I did not actually make a new submission every day, I did make 30 submissions in the 30 days of June.

Build a Better Library Challenge 2011